Early Lessons in Finances
Growing up, my parents never talked about money. There were no lessons on saving, budgeting, or even how to spend wisely. Looking back, I’m not sure if it was because I wasn’t paying attention, or if it just wasn’t part of our family conversations. The closest I got to learning about money was a middle school class where I was taught how to balance a checkbook. I can balance a checkbook! But that’s about all I knew.
When I was in my mid-20s, my ex-husband Tom and I bought our first house. We were excited about our 7% interest rate (which seemed pretty good to us at the time), but when I talked about it with my dad, he was shocked—he was paying over 25% on a balloon mortgage! That was when I realized how little I was taught about finances. My dad didn’t even think to check for a better rate, he just accepted what he was given.
Tom and I worked hard to budget and save. We lived frugally, and with his steady military income, we were able to save enough to pay cash for our third home, worth $275k. Our first two homes didn’t bring much profit because in the military, you move when they tell you to, not when it’s financially optimal. Despite the sacrifices, we were also able to buy land for $400k in cash and contribute to retirement savings.
I managed our family’s day-to-day finances without problems, often conferring with Tom on the larger decisions. But, while I could manage a basic budget, I didn’t understand the bigger picture. I could stretch $200 to feed our family of five for a month (back when that was possible), but long-term financial planning—building real wealth—was out of my reach.
Divorce and My Journey into Debtland
In 2013, my sister passed away, and I became the sole beneficiary of several life insurance policies. This windfall was life-changing, but my marriage with Tom had been struggling for some time. This financial freedom gave me the confidence to file for a divorce, and we settled amicably. At 43 years old, I started over with a paid-off house and a small sum from my sister’s inheritance.
My first act of independence was to purchase a commercial building to grow my self-employed business. Then I bought a new truck. I also invested in a friend’s business and took a trip to Scotland to say goodbye to my sister. I can’t say exactly where the rest of the money went, but it disappeared quickly.
I became accustomed to the lifestyle I had before the divorce—one I could no longer afford on my sole income. Without any reserves, I found myself using credit cards for emergencies like furnace and AC repairs. The cycle of spending without saving continued, and eventually, I was drowning in debt. I thought taking out a mortgage on my paid-off house would solve my problems, but while I was back to being debt-free, I didn’t change my spending habits and my credit cards had zero balances.
To make things worse, I wasn’t tracking my income the way I did when I was married. My income could vary from $300 to $5,000 a month depending on my business, but I wasn’t disciplined with my spending. When my children aged out of child support and the pandemic hit, things took a sharp turn. My unemployment was only $135 a week, and when I contracted COVID, I couldn’t work for six weeks. Unexpected bills, including an $8k special assessment on my commercial property and medical expenses, piled on top of everything else. I took out a $20k Small Business loan to help, but with no emergency fund, my credit card balance climbed back to $20k.
Finding my way out of Debtland
At that point, I knew I had to take control. After recovering from surgery, I enrolled in a Dave Ramsey Financial Literacy Course (which, of course, I put on my credit card). A few months later, I met Jason. He became my coach and a trusted friend. I was overwhelmed at first—facing my financial mistakes was difficult, and after some sessions with Jason, I found myself crying from being overwhelmed, but I kept coming back.
With Jason’s help, I began to understand my finances. He didn’t just show me numbers; he helped me see my life through them. I realized I had the power to rewrite my financial story. Today, I’m no longer afraid to check my bank balance. I spend time with my finances every day—sometimes it’s just five minutes, other days it’s longer, depending on the demands of my business.
Jason helped me cut my monthly expenses by $2,700. I reduced my food bill from $2,000 a month to less than $650 (and that still includes occasional dining out). I’ve learned to be intentional with my spending. With Jason’s guidance, I confidently took out a home equity loan, knowing I wouldn’t fall back into debt. I paid off $20k to the IRS, $1k to state taxes, and $13k to my credit card debt. I also set aside $20k in reserves, mostly due to the volatility of my industry, but also because I now understand the importance of having a financial cushion. I’ve been making regular payments to the IRS and will continue making quarterly payments. I’m on track to be fully caught up on my taxes this year, and no matter what happens, I’m prepared.
Jason never pushed me into doing anything I wasn’t ready for. His approach wasn’t about one-size-fits-all solutions; he helped me navigate my financial obstacles and empowered me to make wiser decisions. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I know I still have work to do. I’m tired, but I keep pushing forward. I’ll continue meeting with Jason, and he’ll guide me through the next steps while celebrating the victories I’ve had so far. Even though I’m doing this alone, it’s comforting to know I have someone who believes in me and walks beside me when things get tough.
Every decision is mine, but having Jason as a coach has made all the difference. Thank you, Jason!